Berrys

First day at work.I shouldn't have come this early.And woozer I like what I see! Hope it doesn't get boring.Today is exciting for me and my blog, Probably not that exciting to the reader....Hehe So my birthday was a blast,21 is the ish.Was the ish anywaysForget 19.My boss is here, I need to Run! Gone.

she a Ho', a sexy Ho'

If Israel is female
Then she's the luckiest of her kind,
Her story depicts a versatile woman.
But at the end I'll still describe her as strong and fierce.
She's seen it all. Pain, much suffering, endured harsh treatment etc.
Exiled from her own territory, forced to find comfort in the arms of another.
Gutters, splendor she knows it all
Ups and downs, riches and poverty, royalty and slavery.
Its not an adventure to her, its what she calls life.
in modern time I'll call her slut.
For she runs off with men that are not her own.. Whether for greed or with reason, I don't know.
Forsaking the groom who paid a price for her.
But even as a slut she earns no disrespect, her pride has never been shaken. She knows her rights.
Her man would always be there when she comes home. For she is the only bride deemed fit in his eye.
The love between Israel and her God.
Is it true love?

Before its too Late by goo goo dolls

wondered through fiction to look for the truth
Buried beneath all the lies
And I stood at a distance
To feel who you are
Hiding myself in your eyes

And hold on before it's too late
Until we leave this behind
Don't fall just be who you are
It's all that we need in our lives

And the risk that might break you
Is the one that would save
A life you dont live is still lost
So stand on the edge with me
Hold back your fear and see
Nothing is real til it's gone

And hold on before its too late
Until we leave this behind
Don't fall just be who you are
It's all that we need in our lives

So live like you mean it
Love til you feel it
It's all that we need in our lives
So stand on the edge with me
Hold back your fear and see
Nothing is real til it's gone

Hold on before its too late
Until we leave this behind
Don't fall just be who you are
It's all that we need in our lives

Hold on before its too late
Until we leave this behind
Don't fall just be who you are
It's all that we need in our lives

It's all that we need in our lives
It's all that I need in my life
---

A Letter

The person you've seen all this while is the part of me I let you see, there is more to me.

Before you met me u had a life, and your uncertainty made me not want to drag you in to mine.

I probably should have said some things, but silence seemed like the only way to save you from me.

Silence is harder than you think it is, especially when you know you'll have to deal with that decision which you made all by yourself.

I hope you respect my desicion , am not sure if you understand it.

You see,nothing was mare to me or totally random,i paid attention to the details.

up till yesterday I doubted my decision but now I know I made the right choice.

Not fighting for you wasn't because you weren't worth it, but cause I wasn't sure who the victim was going to be.

Yesterday I realized it would have been us both...

So thank you very much, No regrets. but I hope you understand.

Need For Air

cant breath,
And your chest hurts like
There's hot coal being pierced in,
With the sharpest rod.
U Stand at the airiest spot
See trees move and leaves fall
Feel the air on your skin,
U Inhale, exhale..
still Doesn't change a thing,
still aint breathing right .
I hate days like that...

different kinds of people

Different kinds of people exist.

I find that there are two kinds,

The kinds I get...and the kinds I don't.

99% fall into the kinds I don't.

How many people actually know themselves? Yeh some, but few!

I am constantly re defining myself if i could keep track of me enough i'll have time to figure people out.

One day I fall into d 99% "I don't get people" and next thing I know am in the 1% "I get kinda people".

Okay! That's the end of my note, was just sitting in class and was trying to place characteristics on the human character..I got tired as usual and decided...I get some and well some are not made to be understood..hence my note.

P.s~ take the saying "men are from mars" seriously. I mean that's the only way you would justify some of their actions. If you bother to keep trying to explain why they act the way they do..well.....( Its ur time).

.and vice versa, women are from Venus, their ways are Different from the ways of mars men...

1 love.

xo xo

These days u feel farther than closer.

I think u've gone deep...

Just hope u can hear me.

Even if its as whispers.

...I love u...

Safe

Xxx

For jaydaemon

ehmmmmm..m

Numb...nada....nothing...absolutely nothing
I feel nothing.,not happy, not sad either.
Just in between..and yeh between I got my conscience in check, so I regained my sanity.

Nothing is constant except for change .thus the concept of nothing being constant (I feel like I went round the same point)..*sigh*. So the thought of happiness not being constant is.... Well!! A thought.

My conscience was always there, just ignored it, and well needed a friend to make me listen..the truth didn't hurt these time, it just sounded too sincere...am grateful.

I'll always remember
~change is constant hence

~everything may change

~try not to have regrets even after a phase is gone.

~truth is the meanest, nicest bitch.

Xxx

TRUTH BE TOLD.......

My time came, and then it faded

Experience is the best teacher, that's a fact.

I've laughed through disaster.

Put my feet in fire, came through with scars.

Scars I regret, but the experience I don't.

I hate that i could venture into this and shut my conscience out.

I hate that now I know I control my conscience.

Call it blue or white...what I did was wrong.

Do I regret??

I swear! Am not yet sure.

Every addiction should be dangerous

Yipee!!!!!I got it, I got what makes me happy.
I love when its around and hate when its gone.
Yes I got myself a new fill..
that said, the problem is its temporary.

Now I have this question to ask; why is it that the most interesting stuff are dangerous?
i tried to help it,said "no" in my head like a million and one times but obviously "no" wasn't loud enough for my brain cells, cause now am blogging about it. Its that important...

I really like it,And then I hear it telling me "don't fall in love with me". Am taking its warning seriously. I mean its a nice way of saying *singing* ''am only gonna break break break break your heart''.

It makes me smile, it is my new addiction..
it is better than an addiction, but it is dangerous it has the "danger sign" written all over the package.

I wanted an addiction this is more than what I bargained for. I knew going for it in the first instance was me looking for trouble. I found the trouble now I must deal.



This post is confusing . This is exactly how confused my brain is...am happy though.

Happy + confused = hartbreak ..

Soundtrack for this post is leona lewis -happy.

His Plan.

From my daily bread...at the very time I needed to hear it the most...

February 13th 2010...Saturday. First time I picked up my bible after a very long while.
didn't get the answer to the question I asked, I got the bigger picture.
Didn't get details of what the bigger picture was,just the awareness that it exist.
That's kinda enough for now.

Un edited,just the way it read...if you Christian and you want to follow up the passage,I read from Job 1 : 13-22; 42:12-17. And now the write up that followed;

Hymn writer William Cowper has beautifully expressed the unexplained workings of an all-wise and all-powerful God. He wrote: "God moves in a mysterious way His wonders to perform; He plants His footsteps in the sea, and rides upon the storm."

From our limited point of view,it often appears that everything is out of control. The heavenly Father, however, wants His children to trust Him even when they cannot understand Him.

While Michaelangelo was working on St. Peter's cathedral, (I love these story.) Other men working on the building criticised him. The great artist responded, " Even if I were able to make my plans and ideas clear to you - which I am not - I am not obliged to do so. I must ask you to do your best to help me, and when the work is complete the conception will be better understood." History has confirmed that he was right

Those who found fault with his work dis. So out of ignorance. Unable to understand what was in the mind of the artist, they couldn't see the whole picture.

Those who go through the deep waters of trials, afflictions or diversity often cannot understand what God is doing. But God knows, and we must trust him for the outcome.

Sorry am getting all "Christian nd religious" on you . Just wanted to share what helped out today.

Blind unbelief is sure to err,
And scan his work in vain,
God is his own interpreter,
And he will make it plain. - cowper

RED TREE'S

Nneka was born two days before valentines day, japari was born a day before the D day, and all the girls bearing 'Val' as names were born on the D day when st valentines decided he had too much money to throw away on the street! Wonder why I haven't heard any boys excited about having their birthdays close to the D day*wondering*...oh well.
Seriously I love the spirit, the air that day brings. That said, I hate that most girls believe they must go all red. Red lipstick, red bag, bra ,pant , dress , shoes..end up looking like a 'red Christmas tree' (never seen one of those but I swear its well depicted in the "red ladies").
My best valentines was in d year 2008 (taking a moment to reminisce hmmm) oh well.
If you have love treat it good and sweet,if u get val'd good for you,if you don't he / she better come up with a good enough explanation.
If you don't have love, treat yourself to something special and who knows one of those secret admirers might become useful.
That said, have fun and use a condom.
X0x0

Gravity

I'll rather stay down with your memories
Than face ...
(Had to put gravity by sara bareille on repeat) only way I can write and feel at the same time...am beginning to sound psychotic...
I truelly am, really depressed..am running out of excuses,addictions, and things to keep my mind moving..on the look out for next addiction.
Yesterday! depressed,sad and angry was the picture I had on my face..paste my picture besides the definition of sad it'll fit so right.
Am not okay! Thank you..totally not fine..
At least I can accept that,although I accepted this fact a bit 3 months back the space between then and now felt like one day between yesterday same feeling now.(feels like a very long sentence).
I'll just write down the lines that defines my state now.
-something always brings me back to you,still feel you here till the moment am gone
-u hold me without touch,keep me without chains.
-i thought that I was strong,but you touch me for a little while and all my ...is gone.
-i leave here on my knees as I try to make u see that u r everything I think I need here on the ground
-u neither friend or foe though I can't let u go...one thing I know is that u keep keeping me down...
-something always brings me back to you and never takes to long.

And Now You Know!

1) I have this bad habit,too lazy to get a cup I drink directly from the bottle (thanks to josh).

2) I am a sucker for pretty things,anything pretty catches my eyes.

3)Very indecisive am never completely sure, never!

4) Am absolutely lazy when I know someone else can do the work, but when there's no one I'll kick ass getting it done.;).

5) I think kim kardash is absolutely gorg.

6) I get bored easily.

7) Can't stand sad movies, am an emotional freak , can't hide my emotions

8) am a scorpio so don't get on my bad side, I knew how terrible it was when two girls tested
Ps-it is BAD!!

9) I've got the best "life motto", trust me it'll get you through this shitty world.

10) Ehmm there's more.....

11) Am getting my paycheck today :).

Penny For My Thought...

Is your life as interesting as it seems?

It seems greener on your side,

Compared to mine that is.....

If I crossed over would I be impressed?

What I see from where I stand,

Is exactly what you let me see..

Is anyone's life as perfect?

I hope its as colourful.

Cause then I have hope, that someday,

Mine would be as perfect.(I doubt).

My past left a dent, won't shape up

Am sure. To deep a dent.

If I walk a mile in your shoes, I'll miss mine.

Your world might actually be prettier,

But to trade mine would never be an option

Its not as interesting, all the same its mine!

I am the main character in my own movie...

All lights and most especially my fathers

Eyes on me..

I am the co author of my wacky tale.

Thanks but no thanks, I'll make due with

Mine. :)

HEED this SAYING'S ,my child!

1)Show me ur friend and I'd tell u who u are -doesn't apply to everyone,my friends don't define me!.
2)A liar is a thief...I'd change it to a thief is a liar-one of those very true sayings,trust me.
3)Love your enemies,it'll drive them crazy-or not!!.
4)That that don't kill you makes you stronger-says who??it could make u weaker joh..
5)'Tomorrow' is never promised 'today'-very very true,so live like today was your last,love,laugh and smile.
6)Open hatred is hidden love-not necessarily, hatred(open or hidden) is more like waste of time and jealousy,no time abeg.
7)Real players don't hate...they understand-never got that so nneka explain yourself!or if any of u understand it pls shed some light.tanx.
8)If he's not yours officially,then he's still hers-very very true-i should know..hehe
9)Actions speak WAY louder than words do.-i can testify to dat*touchlight (personal joke*hehe.
10)If u love something,let it go,if it comes back,then its yours nd if it doesn't,it wasn't ever yours-it sounds like a lame proverb but 4 many that have tried it..its sooo true.still can't say.
11)Un forgiveness is a self-imposed headache with a minute cure which is forgiveness .why hold a grudge..am not saying be best friends with people that hurt u,but pliss forgive and walka pass abeg..it doesn't hurt as much as keepn malice. and if you a xtian rememba"forgive us as we forgive them who sin gainst us"
12)Money is everything-yep it is..it is everytin d good and d bad,all join..
13)D son is as good as his father-ehen?? Me no gree sha!.
14) God is love-soooo true(if u don't agree with all d rest,u hav 2 agree with this!!).
15)Time heals all wounds-am not sure if its true yet..d scars never fade though,and memories of how d scars came bout could bring back d hurt gain...den probably time heals gain(continual process).
16)All that a person leaves behind are his deeds-try to do good..even the little stuff counts.
17)D greatest talker's are often the least doers-soo true.
18)The harder the fight the sweeter the glory - ehmmmm.
19)A fool will always heed d advise of his foolish instructor cos in their eyes he is wise -foolishness is blindness people,try to listen to both sides.
18)One "NO" saves a great deal of trouble-hmm.
19)Anger is not sudden but a build up of irritations-beware of the anger of a quiet person!their lafter may signify anger.
20)Save a thief from the gallows and he will live to cut your throat-experience has taught me oh...soooo true.
21)Tolerance is often a form of cowardice-i swear,I've tolerated some ass-holes and it didn't pay well at the end.
22)Nothing actually really dies,they just seize to exist d way we knew them-who is not forgotten is not dead.

SOCCER

How to start this piece is working up my brain. I've decided on what the write up is about though,choose soccer!.lol.
Meanwhile, between this is just a way to practice the art of writing. I hate reading,so can't learn from reading other books or write ups;I like to think I haven't found the right books but truth be told,I've been too lazy to look for the "right ones". And another truth is I'd kinda rather buy new jeans with the money *puppy eyes + embarassed*. Telling self to change hasn't worked out fine,and am fully aware that writing may not help either but what the heck.
Now,back to topic SOCCER. I know little or nothing about this sport, a list of what I do know would read:
1)Most males and some females included behave like its a drug which they addicted to,like it pumps adrealine down their veins. I've heard people have killed in the name of football (hear say).I know though, that some people have fasted for and only for this cause "that the team they support wins".smh*
2)It involves using only the leg to kick the ball
3)Fouls, sidekicks,red/yellow cards are some kind of purnishements giving to offenders, the offence defines the penalty
4)A coach and refree is involved (like duhh!!)
5)Seasonal tournaments like world cup, nations cup take place. often and
6)Clubs: Realmadrid,arsenal(gunners),manchester united(man u), chelsea(the blues) etc.are clubs...
Forgive me if I didn't mention your club. Oh well *sigh* enough of what I know, I actually find the game intresting I mean when you see the faces of this fans and supporters its like there's this rush. The excitement when the game begins, expectant faces, the fear mixed with joy..omG when you in the midst of these crowd you have the same emorush(emotion rush), even when you understand little about what's going on.lol.
Am writing this and I swear I feel the excitement. I was an arsenal fan, my reasons for joining the club ehmmm??
-i loved the name "arsenal"
-found out they had fine boys in the team.
-the fans had so much "spirit" even when the team played like ass!
Yeah, never understood the game,up until now I have absolutely no idea what goes on, I know that if a keeper let's the ball into the post(net) then "its a goal" and one point is added to the team that shoots.
Now am tired of writingbut before I stop I should say, I was loyal to the team (arsenal) even when they were bent on messing up, but it reached a point I just couldn't take it anymore, so I left the team.so now I rep the BLUES.
Its chelsea baybee..<3*

SAVE THE NURSES, SAVE THE CHILD.

Everyday we get around blaming one head for our nations (many) problems,we blame the government for the low standard of our living,we pity ourselves. Especially some of us that can't afford to live the extravagant lives of the "so called" high and mighty.
I know we hear this a lot,but really it really does start with you,save yourself save the nation(I do not mean be greedy),in other words..."Start with the guy/lady in the mirror"
Wonder why the tittle reads save the nurse save lives,this is because you won't imagine the number of people in this our dear country that have left so soon to eternity because the nurses couldn't care less.am not very learned on this issue or on the trainings for nurses in this contry ,but I remember in primary school,when our teachers asked everyone in class one by one what we wanted to be when we we're all grown,most of us girls wanted to be nurses..
My point being we saw honour in those uniforms,we saw caring people,the ones who saved the lives of the sick before the doctors came around to preserve it,they were the ones who offered emotional healing to patients,who never gave up on a life even when it seemed far gone. at least thats how the movies made them seem...can't say the same of the reality of this country though.
I lost a close, the closest (none blood related) family I had to the carelessness of nurses,I cried when I saw their actions,they seemed more like heartless logs of wood than human beings,they seemed soulless,cared more about big brother series on tv than my brother who apparently needed surgery,they FORGOT to call the doctors,the doctors found us themselves when they came around checking other patients,I guess they came by pretty late!
Kevin won the bigbrother series,we all felt good for our country,my brother would have been here to feel that joy too,had the nurses done their jobs
I know am not alone,we are so many that have shed tears(that could have been prevented) and had the course of our lives changed for ever,driven into great depression,questioned all sanity and suffered irreplaceable loss. all because a nurse was less of a human being than she could have been.
I know your salaries may not be as much as you rightly deserve,but it starts with you,look in the mirror people,make a change!
God bless.