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Monday, 22 February 2010

Every addiction should be dangerous

Yipee!!!!!I got it, I got what makes me happy.
I love when its around and hate when its gone.
Yes I got myself a new fill..
that said, the problem is its temporary.

Now I have this question to ask; why is it that the most interesting stuff are dangerous?
i tried to help it,said "no" in my head like a million and one times but obviously "no" wasn't loud enough for my brain cells, cause now am blogging about it. Its that important...

I really like it,And then I hear it telling me "don't fall in love with me". Am taking its warning seriously. I mean its a nice way of saying *singing* ''am only gonna break break break break your heart''.

It makes me smile, it is my new addiction..
it is better than an addiction, but it is dangerous it has the "danger sign" written all over the package.

I wanted an addiction this is more than what I bargained for. I knew going for it in the first instance was me looking for trouble. I found the trouble now I must deal.



This post is confusing . This is exactly how confused my brain is...am happy though.

Happy + confused = hartbreak ..

Soundtrack for this post is leona lewis -happy.

Saturday, 13 February 2010

His Plan.

From my daily bread...at the very time I needed to hear it the most...

February 13th 2010...Saturday. First time I picked up my bible after a very long while.
didn't get the answer to the question I asked, I got the bigger picture.
Didn't get details of what the bigger picture was,just the awareness that it exist.
That's kinda enough for now.

Un edited,just the way it read...if you Christian and you want to follow up the passage,I read from Job 1 : 13-22; 42:12-17. And now the write up that followed;

Hymn writer William Cowper has beautifully expressed the unexplained workings of an all-wise and all-powerful God. He wrote: "God moves in a mysterious way His wonders to perform; He plants His footsteps in the sea, and rides upon the storm."

From our limited point of view,it often appears that everything is out of control. The heavenly Father, however, wants His children to trust Him even when they cannot understand Him.

While Michaelangelo was working on St. Peter's cathedral, (I love these story.) Other men working on the building criticised him. The great artist responded, " Even if I were able to make my plans and ideas clear to you - which I am not - I am not obliged to do so. I must ask you to do your best to help me, and when the work is complete the conception will be better understood." History has confirmed that he was right

Those who found fault with his work dis. So out of ignorance. Unable to understand what was in the mind of the artist, they couldn't see the whole picture.

Those who go through the deep waters of trials, afflictions or diversity often cannot understand what God is doing. But God knows, and we must trust him for the outcome.

Sorry am getting all "Christian nd religious" on you . Just wanted to share what helped out today.

Blind unbelief is sure to err,
And scan his work in vain,
God is his own interpreter,
And he will make it plain. - cowper

Tuesday, 9 February 2010

RED TREE'S

Nneka was born two days before valentines day, japari was born a day before the D day, and all the girls bearing 'Val' as names were born on the D day when st valentines decided he had too much money to throw away on the street! Wonder why I haven't heard any boys excited about having their birthdays close to the D day*wondering*...oh well.
Seriously I love the spirit, the air that day brings. That said, I hate that most girls believe they must go all red. Red lipstick, red bag, bra ,pant , dress , shoes..end up looking like a 'red Christmas tree' (never seen one of those but I swear its well depicted in the "red ladies").
My best valentines was in d year 2008 (taking a moment to reminisce hmmm) oh well.
If you have love treat it good and sweet,if u get val'd good for you,if you don't he / she better come up with a good enough explanation.
If you don't have love, treat yourself to something special and who knows one of those secret admirers might become useful.
That said, have fun and use a condom.
X0x0

Thursday, 4 February 2010

Gravity

I'll rather stay down with your memories
Than face ...
(Had to put gravity by sara bareille on repeat) only way I can write and feel at the same time...am beginning to sound psychotic...
I truelly am, really depressed..am running out of excuses,addictions, and things to keep my mind moving..on the look out for next addiction.
Yesterday! depressed,sad and angry was the picture I had on my face..paste my picture besides the definition of sad it'll fit so right.
Am not okay! Thank you..totally not fine..
At least I can accept that,although I accepted this fact a bit 3 months back the space between then and now felt like one day between yesterday same feeling now.(feels like a very long sentence).
I'll just write down the lines that defines my state now.
-something always brings me back to you,still feel you here till the moment am gone
-u hold me without touch,keep me without chains.
-i thought that I was strong,but you touch me for a little while and all my ...is gone.
-i leave here on my knees as I try to make u see that u r everything I think I need here on the ground
-u neither friend or foe though I can't let u go...one thing I know is that u keep keeping me down...
-something always brings me back to you and never takes to long.