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Sunday, 29 December 2013

You Are Beautiful.

Today I sat beside a lady at church, she came in with her kids, a young boy, maybe 5 and a baby girl still sucking on tits :)

This year 2013 was a fresh start "to thy own self be true" kinda says what my plan was at the beginning  of the year.
So I cut the crap, and told myself some truth.
So far so good..
You are beautiful, you are delicate, created with a purpose in mind, you are great and only you has the power to take away these truth from you.<---- illumination.="" p="">
Bright lights of truth and honesty piercing through thick darkness and forcing illumination.

...Back to the lady, her baby had no pampers, she cried a lot because of discomfort.
Her son wore dirty clothes, playful young man, extremely happy fellow..mucus dripped down from his nose. He tried to make his sister stop crying (Big brothers are from heaven! )

Their mummy's Hair was a mess, she wore an old dress and looked like she had really made an effort using what she had. She loved those 2 youngsters, I could tell, and from how her baby smiled at her when mummy swinged her safely to dance as hymns were sung, I could tell her baby loved her too.

her baby had no towels, no napkins, no bottles..she used pieces of Ankara as substitute for pampers. made me cry ;(.
I love that lady, she looked so beautiful when I looked straight in her face as she blessed me. With a little grooming Pow!!! She's a stunner.

How did she get into this mess is not the question, she made me forget she was in so much stress...she looked like she had hope.
She blessed me..said a prayer for me; Not a dollar in hand, but a smile, some dancing and singing to share.

We get so caught up in our troubles, blinded by darkness we lie to ourselves/believe lies.forgetting who we truly are we become so small we become slaves to a lie, trapped in our own prisons, held captive for no just cause.

This lady knows who she is, and it wont be long before others know her for who she truly is...
Aware of her situation, but not driven by fear or gloom or selfpity.
She knows who she is, and soon enough the world will too.

Don't get stuck in the darkness, you are BEAUTIFUL.

Saturday, 24 August 2013

The pressure of trust

The pressure from a complete stranger saying "I trust you".

Where do you know me from and why do you trust me so???

Sigh! The fact that i know I can be a complete disaster, I can mess up, I can completely fuck you over.

But for the grace of God I am like any other mess, walking clueless, I am completely human.

Fear almost had me, and it was just fear that I wasn't going to measure up with the expectations of a stranger that handed me complete trust,  I knew my power to fuck up (trying to help you understand the post). Kai fear dealt with me smh.

deadly fears, the ones that have the power to kill all my dreams if I let them

*being alone in the world, forgetting what friendship means and allowing myself get so lost In the trials of this cruel earth while i disconnect from those whom i love , the ones that love me back, my friends.

*listening to the voice that whispers facts, ignites the fear of the unknown and feeds me lies, luring me to accept all realities I'm not comfortable with and ignore the bases of faith concerning the unknown

Worry dealt with me, fear almost swallowed me

Oh! But where is my faith? The truth is; I am weak but he is strong.

In confidence & quietness shall be your strength . Lord, I need thee every hour....

Friday, 5 July 2013

Poet / Prophet

 Look! Listen!
    God’s arm is not amputated—he can still save.
    God’s ears are not stopped up—he can still hear.
There’s nothing wrong with God; the wrong is in you.

Your wrongheaded lives caused the split between you and God.
    Your sins got between you and God.
No one speaks up for the right,
    no one deals fairly.
They trust in illusion, they tell lies,
 they hatch violence.
They compete in the race to do evil
    and run to be the first to murder.
They plan and plot evil, think and breathe evil,
    and leave a trail of wrecked lives behind them

They know nothing about peace
    and less than nothing about justice
Which means that we’re a far cry from fair dealing,
    and we’re not even close to right living

We long for light but sink into darkness,
    long for brightness but stumble through the night.
Like the blind, we inch along a wall,
    groping eyeless in the dark.
We shuffle our way in broad daylight,
    like the dead, but somehow walking.
We’re no better off than bears, groaning,
    and no worse off than doves, moaning.
We look for justice—not a sign of it;

Our wrongdoings pile up before you, God,
    our sins stand up and accuse us.
Our wrongdoings stare us down;
    we know in detail what we’ve done:
Mocking and denying God,
    not following our God

Justice is beaten back,
    Righteousness is banished to the sidelines,
Truth staggers down the street,
    Honesty is nowhere to be found,
Good is missing in action.
    Anyone renouncing evil is beaten and robbed

God looked and saw evil looming on the horizon—
    so much evil and no sign of Justice.
 not a soul around to correct this awful situation.
So he did it himself.
He dressed in Righteousness, put it on like a suit of armor,
    with Salvation on his head like a helmet,
Put on Judgment like an overcoat,
    and threw a cloak of Passion across his shoulders

He’ll make everyone pay for what they’ve done:
    fury for his foes, just deserts for his enemies.
    Even the far-off islands will get paid off in full.
In the west they’ll fear the name of God,
    in the east they’ll fear the glory of God,
For he’ll arrive like a river in flood stage,
    whipped to a torrent by the wind of God

“I’ll arrive in Zion as Redeemer,
    to those in Jacob who leave their sins.”
        God’s Decree


Wednesday, 29 May 2013

I am curious.

Where is my way out of reality
Hard work is hard
I want to be able to sustain me
I don't want to need anything asides the basics
Love, air, food, water, light, good sleep.
I want peace and I don't want to stress

To get where I have determined to be,
I must move/work/thrive
After I've poured out my sweat
After I've done all of this
Will I find rest
 or  begin to thrive for another goal I'll set?
I'm not scared, life hasn't killed me yet
I'm curious
Is life all work?
Do I ever get to say alas now I have no needs I must strive for?
I'm curious. I want to know.

I'll find out someday, maybe tomorrow
But after tomorrow, if life goes on
Does my work/walk continue?

Friday, 26 April 2013

Show Mercy...

I let myself chase after lost souls...
how do i know i am not one 'lost soul'?
why do i always come back,
always on the same path of forgiveness,
back to the source of my pain.
why do i love deeply?
why do i cherish their souls?
why is the path to forgiving paved with pain?
and why do i choose this path?

I always find myself back at the same place
i promised myself I'll never be back to.
this time, i wont make myself that promise.
cos i know i may find myself right back here...
hurting again. a price you pay for kindness!

I know theres a way out of these pain, experience taught me,
its not easy to forgive, but for FREEDOM sake and
so i am not stuck in a bad memory,
so i don't have deadly venom weakening my spirit and killing me slowly
for these reasons once again i"ll let YOU go.
once again I'll let IT go.

I'll take many deep breaths and just let it go!
these pain is not worth my freedom.
theres some pain medicine in FORGIVENESS.
forgiving the one that brought you pain.
taking some pain medicine by showing Gods love and forgiving
cos once upon a time weren't we all sinners?
but for the grace of God!

Again, I'll take your crap, i wont hurt you back...
instead, I'll let IT go.
I'll let YOU go
I'll forgive you

...cruel world, I'm in love with my vision and not reality

what good do we do by loving only those who love us? thats easy.

Friday, 25 January 2013

Calling to remembrance.

You'll help me out and I'll praise you for doing so, I'll probably say: "oh, thank you sir/ma/sis/bro, you'll never understand how grateful I am, I'll never forget your act of kindness"

And i sincerely don't intend to forget , but after years go by... Am i still as appreciative?

Our ability to forget as time goes by becomes a flaw, especially when its the important things we forget.

Let's keep counting our blessings irrespective of the sights we see. From my existence on this side of life I've realized that for a fact; troubles are promised, and most of the time our reaction is shock and a the realization of how limited our power really is.

I've come to understand  that dwelling on the troubles doesn't change the situation. And I've found peace in bad times just by remembering the good times, counting all the good, and learning from the negatives,but not dwelling on it.

I call to remembrance all the blessings, for a truth many I'm undeserving of... But still somehow I'm blessed. I tell myself I'll be blessed again. And by this I draw strength from the pain.

I'll close this note with One of my favorite scriptural verse ; rejoicing in hope, patient through tribulations and continuing steadfastly in prayer Romans 12:12.

God bless :*