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Monday, 24 October 2011

letter to my Ex

You are perfectly happy, so dis isn't about you. Its just a letter to u after 2 yrs its to inform you of basically everything u already know.

Oct 24th 2009

Everything felt stupid,
I was sure as hell I was awake in the wrong world
was so sure i was dreaming (absolutely sure)
screamed!cried!shouted!
shouted at Abu shittu (had to put some blame somewhere ..Abu understood thankfully).
I coudn't sleep,
U can't sleep in a dream can u? Inception hehe.

Oct 25th 2009

Drove down to zaria. thought of nothing Nothing...
I couldn't think. literally felt nothing..numb
i just kept reciting the date in my head (24th october 2009)
someone said it happened 5am.

Your mum had the saddest face I've ever seen,
And your dad said the bravest thing a man in that state could say
He lookd at the framed pic on the wall, then asked me to read it,
it said " God is love" .
he then explained that God loves us all nd if he felt it was alright to take u to be with him then it must have been out of love..
love for me, for everybody who mattered in dis case nd love for you .
I'm not sure this speech helped ur dad as much as it helped me.

later that evening, u knw what happened lol x_x
I've always had to kick ass cos of u,
this time I kickd ass for you in ur absence physically.
laughed that night cos I knew somewhere you were laughing too (Sighhhh....)

Oct 26 2009

They put u in the ground,
I swear I wanted to pray u back to life..
My mouth couldn't move.
just felt someone hold me and the sound of someone shouting out to kunle to hold me..
i guess i was falling at that moment even gravity couldnt hold me to the ground (makes sense in my head).
I wasn't sure then but now I know something stopped me from praying you back to life
as much as selfish me wanted you on earth than with God,
my mouth failed to move.
i'll never know if God would have answered..
couldn't even pray in my mind..
i know now that its because
you found peace and it was us you were bothered about..
rather No pain than much pain right? Only u can get that.

U fought battles
Not mare battles,
 Nothing anyone who isn't you could imagine
U were brave..
you were very kind
U found love so u got everything life had to offer and at its best.
God, family , friends and me .
 U were happy that's all that matters
U are are happy that's all that matters now
 To have known You is a blessing..
no matter how short that chapter of my life was
Life goes on...memories are forever...You are forever.
 Life is a Race, I found a friend ...he won his race. till we meet again on the other side.