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Sunday, 11 December 2011

the gift of christmas

he knows the story behind every scar

he keeps record of my hair growth

down to the last strand, he knows

he knows about every tear drop,

not just the story behind the tear

but the hurt and pain , the reason for the tear.

every breath, till my life support is cut off

he'll know.

its not his duty, infact am just a creation

but he loved me soo much. he sacrificed his best for me

though i did not love him and couldnt care less if he came or not

he still felt the need to try to save me.

i,  the one that didnt love him infact i hated him

hated him for reasons i do cant point out (no reason at all)

for as history would tell, he was just a good man

a very good man, he had no crime

why did i hate good? i stop to think.

christmas is a gift to all men, women, children 

not considering race, tribe, religion or age

christmas is a gift to the world. share love


Sunday, 4 December 2011

Dearest Diary.

I really need to start finishing things i start... we really should listen to our mothers,they see the things we cant see. As Nneka would always tell me "u cant see what an old woman like me would see seating on a bench even if a girl like you climbs an iroko tree". laugh my ass off my dearest Nekus is just 23 oh *long hiss*
so my dear people, the year is almost over, december ya"ll halleluyah! Todays post is about 2 good things that happened today

1) my pastors sermon 
2) my 50000 naira prize money :D

My Pastors sermon

Church today was good as usual,  i came in a tiny bitty late, so missed the praise but uhlalalah worship was just taking off.Dare Art Alade was at church today  (for those that dont know, he is a FRESH rnb singer in naija), he was so nice and friendly when we were asked to welcome our neighbors and introduce ourselves, he actually welcomed like 8 people naice yeh?normally peeps just acknowledge 2 neighbours, the right and left ones lol #idoittoo, he was also with a woman,so my excitement is pure #nostringsattached lol. Sha, sha, sermon today was about telling ones self the truth and how you only get transitions when youve been truthful with yourself about 'your own damn self'. makes sense!

The good began when i took it upon myself to be brutally honest, i told myself some bitter truths..choi, pierced my heart my own Gaddamn heart. the list of ugly truths about me ugly so i wont bore with a list out (man must keep secrets hehe)
the truth is very bitter sha, but admittedly very good therapy in the end. it was painful oh, i wont lie, some of us have to admit crazy thing eg i am a liar, a cheat, an abuser, arrogant, unkind, annoying etc admitting it is the 1st step to change and we know that positive change is progress.

hey, am not beating myself out about the painful truth tho and i advice we shouldnt (forgive yourself - Japari told me that) am just loving my past,letting go of it and am looking forward to a better future
FCHW- stands for faith, consistency and Hardwork - @spokenreasons uhhhh i love this guy, he funny but he speaks the truth
watch this pls

So the bitter truth i found out was that my mum was right all along:(. You know how you never want her to be right?well my mum was right, she would say "karen u never finish what u start, you would clean half way and now stop and watch movie, when would you finish" i didnt know any better then or i refused to change the habit. whichever way, that attitude is a showoff of Lack of consistence and Lazyness , is it not to clean and watch tv in a nice clean room? admitting i am lazy was tough but it'll be worth it in the long run. i'll work at changing conciously now.
the truth is more bitter than the fact that my mum is right, its the fact that the habit followed me into present time. as i have washed half my clothes nd the rest is just staring at me, half of my ward robe is neat the rest is a sight, i cleaned my room but didnt throw the gabbage *closes eye* etc these are the little things, just imagine the huge things ive left half way.

this must stop! this would stop :) consistent karen is the goal. hehe

now my 50000 naira win

yayyyyyyy my christmas is already a miracle.
mehn the recession on my end is fatal, but what do you know,
God has kept me :)
so fusion lifestyle had another shopping event today and i was the lucky winner of 50000 naira shopping cash :) ohlawd! the joy oh jesu babami oh haha almasihu lawd! 
i did my christmas shopping there and there, like what a relief, one thing crossed out off my todo list these year, everybody has a GOOD gift
so thats the end of the

my desire is that all of you get lifted from whereever you the new year creeps in we all need to start telling ourselves some bitter truths, who deserves the truth better than you ;), positive change is progress, we all deserve some LIFTing

#note: whoooooohoooooooooooo 20 days to christmas